[Worth is laughing. Really, really hard. And although the way he's laughing would sound familiar to anyone who knows him, the voice itself...

He smiles wide into the camera after exhaling a large plume of smoke. Worth is a most definitely a woman. And obscenely drunk.]

'M here today ta talk 'bout a serious thing thass plaguin' the nation--

-- ( Read more... )

A virus, hrm?

Well. Ain't ya all lucky that one o' the most talented men in his field's right here, at yer shitty lil' facility, willin' and able ta patch ya up. Assumin' ya meet certain conditions, course ( Read more... )

Oi

Anyone found anything here thats closer to alcohol than beer?

It's a medical emergency

Know what week I miss, kids?

[The camera is moving around haphazardly, held in two grubby looking hands. Worth is fiddling with the 'berry, and the result is a picture that looks like the worst parts of The Blair Witch Project--in terms of camera stability. Not in...subject matter.]

Boozin' week.

But! [Worth finally sets the camera down and ( Read more... )

Bra-fuckin'-vo, all--

--s'nice ta see ya all workin' out yer little problems. I've always been a firm believa' that most issues can be solved with a slap ta th' mouth er two. S'healthy. Good fer ya.

Fuckin'...therapeutic.

That bein' said--I am a doctor. An' I am currently acceptin' patients. An' whass even better than that:

I don' like the lot ( Read more... )

[Worth turns the camera feed on and smiles--if you can call that a smile. It's definitely a something. Something in between sleazy and sinister and...well-meaning? Maybe? Well. That's for the viewer to decide.]Well, then. Seems introductions're in order ( Read more... )

[The camera focuses in on a tall, lanky, blonde man who looks about twelve thousand shades of "not impressed to be here" and about five billion shades of "haven't slept in three months." He's sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows on his knees, leaning towards the screen. His voice is gruff and deep, with a severely thick Australian accent lazily ( Read more... )

'Ey, Connie. Ya missin' yer kitty cat?

[ ENTRY DELETED ]

Ya know that vamp guy Conrad? Yea?

Well watch out kiddies, 'cause he's after the young'uns.

But only if ya've got a dick.

I'M ALSO A HUGE ASSFACE HEY GUYS LET ME RUIN YOUR LIVES

[ What. The. Fuck.

Worth held the communicator out in front of himself, glaring at the camera and ignoring the thin trail of blood tricking down from his right temple. Where he was, and how the fuck he hit his head was completely beyond him. ]

Why am I in a fuckin’ bathroom.

[ The doctor took a moment to peer through the door, noticing a very out ( Read more... )